


Llévame Despacio (Take Me Slowly)

by xmiam



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Businessman AU, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nanny AU, questioning yunhyeong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-07-17 07:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16091210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xmiam/pseuds/xmiam
Summary: Song Yunhyeong, a recent widower, is left to raise his two kids on his own. Due to his busy work schedule, he hires nannies to help him out around the house. Kim Hanbin is a struggling exotic dancer who could use the extra money this nanny job is offering. He is forced to hide his double life from his boss when he gets the job and it brings him a lot of pain. He isn't sure how much longer he can last being in Yunhyeong's home when he is so in love with him and is constantly lying straight to his face.





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: All of the iKON members will be main characters in the story. Hanbin, Jiwon, Yunhyeong, Junhoe + Jinhwan will be much older. Chanwoo + Donghyuk will be significantly younger than the rest. Sorry for any confusions. Hope it makes sense as you keep reading along! Also, this is inspired by a Mexican soap opera called *Mi corazón es tuyo.

Hanbin hadn’t felt this free since he was a child, in the arms of his loving mother. He had faced so much pain growing up and unfortunately that had taken a toll on him. But right now, at this point in his life, he knew one thing for sure. It was only a matter of time before he fell in love with his well-mannered, handsome boss. Now that he was currently in the state of falling in love, he felt like he was in big trouble.

How would he explain his feelings to Jiwon? His boyfriend of many, many years and number one supporter. Jiwon had helped him make connections at the nightclub close to their home and from that Hanbin was able to get a night job as an exotic dancer. It sounded horrible when he explained it out loud to others, but he never once undressed himself for an audience. It was a noble job in his eyes.

But he didn’t think Yunhyeong would have similar views, judging solely on how conservative the man was. Hanbin lied about his qualifications in his job application and had somehow managed to hide that from his boss, but keeping this secret from Yunhyeong was slowly becoming a huge challenge for him.

Not to mention, it seemed like Yunhyeong’s oldest child hated him for some reason. As time passed Hanbin figured out that reason. Donghyuk didn’t want Hanbin to replace his mother’s spot as his caretaker.

It had only been a few weeks since he had occupied the job as nanny of Yunhyeong’s children, but he had already grown so attached to them, especially the younger of the two. It was mainly due to the fact that he had only ever been interested in men and birthing children of his own could never be an option. That and Jiwon could never commit himself fully to Hanbin.

Hanbin wondered if that was the reason for him becoming so distant from Jiwon. Perhaps this ‘infatuation’ for Yunhyeong would simply go away in a matter of days or weeks. Maybe it was just a way to cope with his inevitable separation from Jiwon.

“Hanbin-hyung? Is everything okay?” The family’s main housekeeper was standing at Hanbin’s bedroom door, his brows furrowed in worry. “Chanwoo and Dongie are downstairs eating.”

“Yes. Just fine. How is the youngest one?” Hanbin would’ve continuously apologized to Junhoe after that about how he was lacking so much that morning, but a beautiful child appeared beside the housekeeper.

“Hi, sweetheart. Chanu~ my heart.” It was a sweet nickname Hanbin had given him and the child seemed to love it.

Chanwoo hadn’t spoken in almost a year ever since his mother had passed away and that had taken a toll on Donghyuk and Yunhyeong.

Hanbin knew what the child was going through, since he was forced to grow up in an orphanage where he dreamt of what his own mother was like. That was, if she was even alive. But he always held hope that he would be reunited with her one day.

Chanwoo looked up at him with those big eyes Hanbin loved so much and rose his hands into the air, silently asking to be carried. Hanbin obliged to his request and carried the child in his arms, following Junhoe to the kitchen downstairs. All the while Hanbin rambled on about the town he grew up in. Junhoe smiled from his spot in front of them and opened the doors to the kitchen.

The child jumped from his arms and ran over to his older brother, who protectively wrapped his arms around him and glared at Hanbin. Hanbin pretended not to notice and walked to the stove to serve them their breakfast.

“How’s my little angel? How’s my baby?” When Hanbin turned to glance at the duo he was surprised by how loving Donghyuk was with his younger brother. He was caught in the act of staring when his phone continued to ring in his back pocket and Donghyuk turned to gaze at him, his eyes filled with hatred.

Hanbin quickly met Junhoe’s gaze as if asking for permission to excuse himself for a moment, and Junhoe shooed him away with his hands and took over his previous task.

“Why have you been avoiding me so much, Binnie? I thought I was the love of your life.” His boyfriend’s voice was booming through his cell phone the second he answered the call and he continued to listen attentively to his list of worries, until Hanbin’s attention was directed elsewhere. To his dismay, he met the home’s butler Jinhwan on his way out the front door and was summoned closer by him before he could exit.

He lowered the volume on his cell phone and moved it as far away from himself as he could. His cheeks burned with embarrassment when he received a light scolding from Jinhwan, who reminded him of his responsibilities in Yunhyeong’s home. Hanbin considered himself lucky when he was allowed five minutes to step outside and continue his call in private.

What he didn’t expect was for Jiwon to be waiting outside the door for him.

“Jiwonie-hyung?!” Hanbin spoke in a loud whisper as he rushed over to where he stood beside a tree, suspiciously inspecting the home and what surrounded it. “Get out of here! I got in trouble because of your stupid phone calls. Couldn’t you have visited me at my house this weekend like I told you to?”

“No! You’re never home! And I never see you dance at the Chicago Nightclub anymore because I only work during the day. Stop sleeping here! You have any idea how much I fucking miss you, babe?” Jiwon attempted to move himself closer and reached for his boyfriend’s waist, but Hanbin shoved him away.

“Leave. I’m not going to ask again, Jiwon.”

Right then, Hanbin overheard Yunhyeong’s driver pull up in front of his home and yanked Jiwon down to hide behind the tree. Even when they were stuck in these ridiculous situations, Jiwon had the urge to kiss his lover. He thought Hanbin looked so pretty with his lips parted and eyes widened, and the younger of the two had his fingers tangled in his hair for christ’s sake. It wasn’t Jiwon’s fault his imagination was going wild.

Hanbin nearly screamed in terror when Donghyuk walked up to the side of the car and opened the door for his father. He hadn’t seen him walk out the front door and was worried he might’ve overheard his conversation with Jiwon. His theories were proven correct when Donghyuk turned to look at Hanbin hiding behind the tree and glared. Jiwon was clearly visible to him too, but he didn’t seem fazed by his presence.

“I’m going to get fired, Jiwonie. See what you did!? Leave.” Hanbin pulled him back onto his feet and shoved him away, his bottom lip forming a small pout.

Jiwon hesitantly moved closer to him, but Hanbin was running back into the home in a matter of seconds. As he passed through the front door, he noticed Yunhyeong’s office door was open and he could hear him speaking to Chanwoo in a high pitched voice.

But before he could rush back into the kitchen to check on Chanwoo’s lunch, Donghyuk came up beside him and harshly grabbed his arm.

“Need to talk to you before I go to school. I want you in my room in five minutes.” It sounded more like an order than a request, and Hanbin couldn’t believe he was so intimidated by a sixteen year old. His hands were shaking when he walked back into the kitchen and Jinhwan seemed to notice how uncomfortable he had become.

Tears formed in Hanbin’s eyes in an instant and he couldn’t stop them from spilling down his cheeks. He didn’t want to go back to working full-time at the Chicago Nightclub and he most definitely didn’t want to see his disgusting boss ever again. He knew he had it easier than the women that danced there and would get undressed by the eyes of the public, but he still wished he hadn’t ever stepped foot in that place. He had signed a contract with them and owed them so much money, which he slowly paid off by dancing almost every night.

He hoped the money he was earning from his new nanny gig would decrease his debt, but he wouldn’t be paid until the end of the month. That was, if he made it until the end of the month. Seeing the situation he was in with Donghyuk, he didn’t think that was possible anymore.

“Mister Donghyuk looked very upset. What is going on?” Jinhwan cautiously walked over to his side and rested a hand over his shoulder. Junhoe pushed Chanwoo’s lunch box across the table and towards Hanbin, who smiled gratefully at him, but it wasn’t a genuine smile. He was internally freaking out.

“You’ll find out soon enough. I’ll be back to send off the children.” And then Hanbin was gone again, rushing past Yunhyeong who was now in the living room with Chanwoo, and up the stairs. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest and he was worried that he would be scolded by a child, but he was willing to defend himself. He was determined to keep his dignity.

Donghyuk stood from his spot on the edge of his bed when Hanbin walked in and bowed politely. “Just the person I was looking for. I overheard your conversation with ‘Jiwonie’ and looked up the Chicago Nightclub.”

Hanbin was going over the various explanations he could give Donghyuk in his head. But it seemed that the child had grown impatient when he cleared his throat and once again glared at him. “You just gonna stand there all day or are you going to dance for me? Give me a show, stripper.”

Hanbin frowned and curled his fingers into fists by his sides. “I’m not going to let you humiliate me. I’m not a stripper nor a prostitute. I swear I don’t take off my clothes when I dance. I never have. You have to believe me.”

Donghyuk rose his hand into the air in an attempt to silence Hanbin, and the latter was like a puppy following his owner’s orders, falling right into his trap. “Don’t care. My father will never approve of this double life you have. I’ll have you fired right away.” He moved to walk past Hanbin, but Hanbin wasn’t going down without explaining his situation some more.

Hanbin reached for the child’s wrist and stopped him before he could walk away. Donghyuk opened his mouth to protest or yell, but Hanbin spoke first. “I need this job! I’m broke. I didn’t want to dance at a nightclub, but I had to. Out of necessity. I needed the money to pay my debt. My house burned down! I had to rebuild it with my lousy partner. You don’t understand the feeling of poverty, Dongie.”

“Don’t call me that. Only my family calls me that.”

Hanbin couldn’t believe that Donghyuk had ignored his explanation. It felt humiliating, as if he were inferior to this child. And in many ways, Hanbin was.

Donghyuk wiggled his wrist out of Hanbin’s grip then moved to stand beside him, making sure to look him in the eyes when he spoke again. “Either you leave by tonight or I tell my father. Your choice.”

Hanbin had closed his eyes for a moment to avoid his cruel gaze. When he opened them again, Donghyuk was gone and could be heard screaming loving words at his father and younger brother downstairs.

Hanbin had grown so attached to Yunhyeong’s children, even if Donghyuk hadn’t always played nice with him. It would be tough getting used to his old routine again, but he would have to do it and find another reason to live.

He thought he had already found one here with Chanwoo.

“Hanbin! Where is Hanbin, Dongie? Hanbin!” Yunhyeong called out for him from the living room.

Hanbin knew it would be hard finding another reason to live after this. It seemed like this was as good as it was going to get for him and he had lost it in a matter of weeks. He quickly tidied himself up and mentally prepared himself for his departure.

Hanbin rushed out of Donghyuk’s room and down the stairs. “Yes, Mr. Song? I am so sorry. I was cleaning up Chanwoo’s room.”

“That’s Jinhwanie-hyung’s job. I need you to focus more on your own, okay?” Yunhyeong’s tone didn’t frighten Hanbin. It might’ve been the admiration he had for him that left him feeling so breathless every time Yunhyeong spoke to him, but those feelings would soon diminish. Perhaps it was best for him to work out his relationship with Jiwon. Why would he want to let a relationship of many years go down the drain over a stupid crush?

“Of course, Mr. Song. You can always count on me!” Hanbin ignored the disapproving looks Donghyuk gave him. He would be out of this house before the children returned from school, anyways.

The children were soon on their way and Hanbin was left alone with Yunhyeong. Before Hanbin could leave the living room, Yunhyeong asked him to sit on the couch, and the younger man was in no position to deny his offer.

“Hanbin. I have a question for you. Do you think I’m handsome? I know I’m way too old and mature to be considered cute.”

Hanbin widened his eyes and looked away, instead kept his gaze on the portrait of Yunhyeong’s late wife that was hung in the living room.

You’re so handsome, Hanbin wanted to say. Also, I’m sorry, Mrs. Song.

“Mr. Song. Why are you asking me this?”

“I haven’t been on one date since my wife passed. I don’t think women are interested in dating a widower.” Yunhyeong sighed and kept his gaze on Hanbin, who still refused to look him in the eyes.

“What type of girls are you into? Big breasts or big hearts? Pretty eyes? Nice smile? Dimples?” You have adorable dimples, Yunhyeong wanted to say. But he thought it would be weird to comment that about another man.

Hanbin concluded that Yunhyeong had probably been deprived of male friends or had pushed them away since his wife’s passing because this was so awkward. In fact, this was so humiliating.

“Uhm— well, you see...” He didn’t want to lie to his boss, but he also wasn’t planning on coming out, so he would be vague with his answers. “No chest. Maybe abs. Nice arms. Big heart.” This described Jiwon perfectly. Maybe he was the love of his life.

“No chest? You mean flat chests?” Just the comment Hanbin hoped Yunhyeong would ignore.

“No, sir. I mean no chest...” Hanbin finally looked at Yunhyeong and a look of realization appeared on Yunhyeong’s features.

“Oh— OH!” Yunhyeong looked at him with wide eyes and inspected his face, arms, legs, his whole body.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Hanbin’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. “Please, sir.”

Yunhyeong laughed and shook his head. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Hanbin. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Also don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

That was a relief. Not that it mattered considering Hanbin would be out of his life by the following day.

“Are you seeing anyone?” A small part of Yunhyeong hoped Hanbin would say no. Over the past few weeks, he was growing to enjoy his presence in his home.

“I am, actually. His name is Bobby.” Eh, it wasn’t a complete lie. It was a nickname Jiwon’s friends had given him and Mr. Song would never find out the truth.

“And how long have you two been together?”

“Six years, sir.”

“Wow. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. I’ll be on my way now.” Hanbin pushed himself onto his feet.

“Wait.” Yunhyeong quickly stood and stared at him with wide eyes. “Do you think I’m handsome or not?”

“Yes.” Hanbin quietly replied, then walked back into the kitchen. His heart was rapidly beating and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Jinhwan furrowed his brows when Hanbin walked into the kitchen, absentmindedly patting a hand to his chest. It was only a nervous habit of his.

What he didn’t know was that Mr. Song was feeling the exact same way. His palms were sweaty, knees weak, and heart beating at an unsteady pace.

“I think you’re handsome too, Kim Hanbin.”

Hanbin thought he was just a poor boy who didn’t deserve any sympathy from anyone. Most especially from Yunhyeong. If only he could open his eyes and look up to the sky and realize that he could never be with him.

“Mom, where are you when I need you the most?”

He really thought his heart might burst in his chest if he didn’t act on his feelings, but if he were to do so, he was afraid he would be humiliated by Yunhyeong.

Instead of further contemplating that decision, he scribbled Yunhyeong a note in private and left it in his office downstairs. He made sure to flee while Jinhwan and Junhoe were occupied with their work.

But before he left, he went off to find Jinhwan, who had always been so kind to him.

“I’m sorry. For everything. For not being perfect or enough.” Hanbin’s eyes were wide and glossy, and Jinhwan pulled him in for a tight hug.

“Don’t say stuff like that. You’re scaring me.” Though he was smaller in size, he held Hanbin’s body tightly in his arms. Junhoe walked in and stopped at the doorway.

At the sudden interruption, Hanbin turned and forced a smile at Junhoe. He would’ve grown to love him too.

He bowed his head at the two before rushing out the kitchen and closing the door behind him, one last time. He averted his gaze to the left and saw the portrait of Yunhyeong’s late wife.

“I love your kids. They are wonderful. Even Dongie~”

He silently cursed at himself for talking to a portrait, then went on his way.

When Yunhyeong returned from work early that day in hopes of talking to Hanbin some more, he was sad when he couldn’t locate him and searched the entire house for his presence. Jinhwan and Junhoe panicked when they found out Hanbin was gone.

“Yunhyeong-hyung! I found a letter!” Junhoe called out from his office and Yunhyeong ran inside.

At that point, his children had arrived from school and were watching the adults search the house for any sign of Hanbin. Donghyuk felt horrible for sending him away, but the thought of someone replacing his mother’s place in his house terrified him. He didn’t want them to forget her.

“Good grief! He’s gone?!”

“Mr. Song, we’ll find him! I know where he lives!” Jinhwan was always so willing to get to know Hanbin. It didn’t surprise Donghyuk that they had exchanged personal information.

“Give me the address. I’ll just send him his final and only check! This is so unprofessional!”

Donghyuk told Chanwoo to stay put and ran towards his father’s office. Once Yunhyeong caught sight of him, he held up the note and rubbed a hand over his temple. The child walked over and yanked the note from his hand.

 

_To: Mr. Song_

_If I’m not back again this time tomorrow, carry on. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to leave but I had to. Tell Chanwoo and Dongie that I love them._

_x Hanbin_

 

They all looked towards the doorway when they heard a sweet, familiar voice.

“Hanbin? Hanbin?” Chanwoo looked up at the adults and his older brother, and anxiously searched the room for his nanny. “Hanbin!”

Donghyuk instantly burst into tears and was comforted by Junhoe, who soothingly rubbed his back and whispered kind words into his ear. Junhoe wasn’t always keen with the idea of touching others, but he had grown very fond of Yunhyeong’s children over the years.  

“Where’s Hanbin, good grief! I need Hanbin back here. Jinhwan, please do me a favor and bring him back immediately.”

Yunhyeong carried Chanwoo in his arms and pressed gentle kisses to his cheeks. Now directing his words to his youngest son, “we’ll bring him back, Chanu. Don’t worry, honey.”

“I want to go with Jinhwanie-hyung, Dad.”

The butler smiled at the mention of his name and moved forward to caress the child’s face. He exchanged a look with his boss, who eagerly nodded his head.

“Hyung will take good care of you, Chanwoo.” Jinhwan now held Chanwoo in his arms and leaned closer to Junhoe. “Get the car ready. You’re taking me.”

“Hyung isn’t joining us?” Junhoe asked, looking between Jinhwan and Yunhyeong.

“No, no. I have to prepare something for work. I want to have free time once Hanbin is back.”

“On our way to pick up Hanbin, Yunhyeong-hyung.” Junhoe announced and rushed out the door with Jinhwan.

Yunhyeong hoped Hanbin would be returned to his home, not only for Chanwoo’s sake but for his own as well. Their recent conversation had sparked something inside him and it was only a matter of time until he lost complete control over his emotions. He may come off as cold and close-minded, but there is a reason for that. When he lost his wife, he thought he would never be able to fall in love again. It was a scary feeling, but during these past few weeks with Hanbin’s presence in his home, he was able to realize one thing.

He was already in the process of falling in love with Kim Hanbin.


	2. Love Of My Life

Hanbin left his home that night with tears running down his cheeks. He would have to return to his job at the Chicago Nightclub full time and the thought of facing Jiwon again scared him. Was he really in love with Yunhyeong or was his mind playing tricks on him? To rid himself of any thoughts about his former boss, he put on his headphones and sent Jiwon a text message. 

  
  


_ To: Jiwonie~ _

 

_ Good news. Talked to our boss & I’m back full time.  _

  
  


His boyfriend replied in an instant and was thrilled to hear the news. When Hanbin arrived, Jiwon was backstage with the other dancers, standing dangerously close to a certain one. Not that Hanbin cared, but if Jiwon had to ogle anyone else, he should’ve at least done it while he wasn’t around. 

 

“Baby Binnie~” Jiwon wrapped his arms around Hanbin and pressed kisses all over his face. The latter forced a smile onto his features and hid his face from the other. 

 

“Jiwon, we need to talk.” 

 

“Yes,  _ we do _ .” The older man slid his hands down Hanbin’s sides, starting from his torso and ending at his hips. “I’ve missed you.” 

 

“Bin!” Called out a familiar voice from the doorway. Her name was Lisa and she was Hanbin’s closest friend. She had recently moved in with Hanbin and Jiwon due to her home being burned down, so Jiwon couldn’t complain about not having company around the house. 

 

She pushed Jiwon out of the way and replaced his previous spot, hugging the living daylights out of Hanbin. Jiwon glared at her and silently stood off to the side. 

 

“It’s okay, Binnie~ I’m sorry you lost the job.” 

 

“Hanbin? Hurry up and get ready, you’re up soon.” Jiwon interrupted their moment and walked out of the dressing room. He had always been the jealous type, even with people who had no interest in Hanbin romantically. 

 

Hanbin knew his boyfriend would never cross a line with his actions, so he didn’t worry about his behavior. All Jiwon needed was to be reassured by Hanbin that he wasn’t going to be dumped. If only he knew...

 

In record time, Hanbin got dressed and applied very light make-up, so that he could give the crowd waiting for him a show. Even before he was a pole dancer, he had a gorgeous body, which Jiwon loved. But out on stage he made a great effort to flaunt it, tattoos, muscles and all. 

 

And every time he came out on stage, the ladies and gentlemen went insane. But he couldn’t stop thinking about Yunhyeong and his children. After he finished, he rushed off to the restroom and cried. 

 

“Hanbin-ah? Open the door.” It was Jiwon, and Hanbin didn’t want him to worry or become suspicious, so he quickly opened the door. 

 

“Don’t ask, Jiwon. I want to go home with you.” Hanbin held out his hands and Jiwon took them in a matter of seconds, frowning at the sight before him. 

 

The cab ride home was quiet, but very comfortable. Hanbin had his head rested on Jiwon’s lap and the latter stroked his hair, respecting the other’s need to lay in silence. He didn’t know that Hanbin was thinking of the best way to break up with him. 

 

Once back home, Jiwon helped the other change into his pajamas and hopped into bed with him. 

 

“Will you talk to me now?” 

 

Hanbin opened his mouth to speak, to tell him everything that was on his mind, but they were interrupted by Lisa barging in on them. 

 

“Hanbin oppa! There’s someone here to see you! A cute boy!” Lisa chuckled at the reaction she got from Jiwon, who reached for Hanbin’s cheeks. 

 

“Hanbin-ah! You have some fucking explaining to do!” He retracted his hands from the younger’s cheeks and rushed out the door. 

 

Hanbin wasn’t expecting company nor did he think Yunhyeong would go through his much trouble to find him. Had Jinhwan given him his address? What if Yunhyeong really was out in his living room waiting for him? 

 

His heart rapidly beat in his chest as he slipped on a cardigan to hide the shoulder tattoo his tank top revealed. In an instant he was in the living room and was met with an unfamiliar voice. 

 

“Hanbin-appa! Hanbin!” 

 

Tears instantly formed in his eyes as he knelt down on the ground and opened his arms for the child. 

 

“Chanwoo!  _ My heart. _ What are you doing here, sweetheart?” He attempted to hold in his tears, but they spilled down his cheeks. 

 

Chanwoo wiped the tears with the back of his hand and frowned. “Why are you crying, Hanbin? Are you not happy to see me?”

 

“I am so happy to see my baby... my precious angel.” Hanbin chuckled, wiping away the remaining dampness from his cheeks and reached down to hold the child’s face in his hands. He looked so much like his father. 

 

“Jinani hyung said I could come along! I missed you!” Chanwoo clung onto the older man and Hanbin held him close to his chest as he looked up to meet Jinhwan’s gaze. 

 

“Come home, Hanbin-ah. We all miss you and it’s only been a day.” Jinhwan grinned at him, now walking forward to where he was embracing the child on the ground. The older man knelt down beside Hanbin and flung an arm across his shoulders. 

 

“But I have problems with Donghyuk, hyung.” Hanbin whispered once Jinhwan was close enough.

 

“So? I didn’t think you were the type to give up so easily. Come back.”

 

From afar, Jiwon and Junhoe observed silently. For a second or two, they glanced up at each other and exchanged knowing looks. They assumed that Hanbin and Jinhwan had a thing for each other and they were going to be left in the dust in a matter of days. Jiwon quickly looked away and rolled his eyes, growing annoyed by the whole situation. He couldn’t believe Hanbin was leaving him for this tiny man... and Junhoe couldn’t believe Jinhwan was choosing Hanbin over him after everything they’d been through. 

 

Those two jumped to conclusions way too quickly. 

 

Jinhwan didn’t want Hanbin nor Junhoe, he was perfectly happy being single for the rest of his life if it meant avoiding pain. And as of right now, the only person residing in Hanbin’s mind was Song Yunhyeong, not Jiwon nor Jinhwan. 

 

Hanbin and Jinhwan smiled at each other. It seemed the former had made his decision and Jinhwan was over the moon to be having him back in the Song mansion. 

 

“Let’s go home, munchkin!” Jinhwan picked up Chanwoo from Hanbin’s arms and stood up, soon making his way to a grumpy Junhoe who refused to meet his gaze. 

 

“Hanbin-ah, you’re leaving me again?” Jiwon helped Hanbin back onto his feet and frowned, pouted, sighed over dramatically... none of which would help his case. Hanbin had made up his mind, he was leaving Jiwon’s side physically and romantically.

 

“Yes, hyung...” Hanbin started off quietly and pulled Jiwon closer to him; even though they had an audience watching them, he wanted this moment between them to be personal. He was glad Chanwoo was screaming in Jinhwan’s arms so that they wouldn’t hear his next words. “I do not want to be with you anymore.” 

 

Jiwon couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His Hanbin... was no longer  _ his _ . He had always been faithful, loving, and kind to him; but there was one he refused to give Hanbin, and that was a family. By the looks of it, Hanbin was far more happy with his boss’ kids than in his company, and that broke his heart into a million pieces. 

 

“Baby...” Jiwon reached for Hanbin’s cheeks and rubbed his thumb over his plump bottom lip. Hanbin refused to meet his gaze and closed his eyes. He knew he would agree to whatever Jiwon offered next if he were to look his former lover in the eyes. “Give me one more chance, I’ll do anything. I promise.”

 

Hanbin would be brave. He wouldn’t be a coward about what he no longer felt for Jiwon, even though it hurt immensely to let him go as his partner. “Goodbye, my dear love... let me go and live happily, yeah? You will see me again this weekend, every weekend if possible. I am not really leaving you.” 

 

“Love of my life, don’t leave me...” Jiwon’s eyes were filled with tears. Hanbin towards Lisa, silently asking for help with his troubled gaze. Luckily, she quickly got the hint and lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Jiwon’s frame from behind. 

 

“I’ll drop off your belongings tomorrow. Go, Hanbin.” She spoke quickly as she struggled to keep Jiwon in place. He was strong, but it seemed his sadness was overpowering his strength. 

 

Hanbin couldn’t look at him in this state for much longer. He grabbed his keys from the kitchen table and motioned for Junhoe and Jinhwan to step outside. Once outside, Jinhwan gave the child to Junhoe, who quickly placed him into the back seat and closed the door. 

 

Jinhwan had his arms wrapped around Hanbin’s shoulders as he cried. Junhoe waited beside the car, staring at the duo. He felt bad for feeling jealous when all Jinhwan was providing for Hanbin was support, not romantic love. 

 

“Oh... Hanbin hyung, don’t cry!” Junhoe scurried over to them and wrapped his arms around the two men. He was rewarded with silent laughter. 

 

That hug alone left Hanbin feeling more at ease with the situation with Jiwon. Though he knew it would take time for him to recover from it, he knew he would. They had been together for  _ six fucking years _ after all. 

  
  


Once back at the Song mansion, Hanbin felt relieved when Yunhyeong welcomed him back into his home. But as expected, he set new rules on him, which included that he couldn’t that he couldn’t ever leave unannounced again. 

 

“Yes, Mr. Song. It won’t happen again. Am I free to do my job now?” Hanbin fiddled with the ends of his cardigan, gaze lowered so he wasn’t forced to look his boss directly in the eye. 

 

“They’re getting ready for bed. I actually wanted to speak to you some more.” Upon hearing Yunhyeong’s request, Hanbin quickly moved his gaze up to meet his. 

 

The younger man pointed to himself and furrowed his brows, feeling a sense of achievement as he joined his boss on the couch in his office. But all that confidence he had gained soon diminished when he studied the look of Yunhyeong’s face. He seemed so curious, but gentle, like he really wanted to get to know his employee. 

 

The nanny glanced around the office in an effort to avoid the awkwardness, but that didn’t stop Yunhyeong from staring. 

 

“I was so happy when I saw Chanwoo in my tiny home.” Hanbin finally turned to face him, but the second he did, he completely regretted it. It felt a thousand people were stomping on his chest, keeping him from properly breathing. What was this feeling? 

 

He anxiously tapped a hand on his chest and cleared his throat, before he continued, “Thank you for allowing me to come back, sir.” 

 

“No worries at all. I know we all have our issues, but I hope you will be able to share some of your burdens with me...” Yunhyeong looked at him with such kind eyes that Hanbin couldn’t resist smiling at him, and that smile that the older man rewarded him with was absolutely beautiful. Everything about Yunhyeong was perfect and Hanbin didn’t think he would ever be worthy of loving someone as special as him. 

 

“Ah~ maybe one day.” Hanbin doubted that, but he didn’t want to upset him with his words so instead he changed the subject. “Your Chanwoo! Oh, he kept repeating my name! I couldn’t help but feel like a proud nanny.” 

 

His face burned with embarrassment, but he didn’t make an effort to hide his rosy cheeks from Yunhyeong. He wanted the other man to realize how much he cared about his children.  

 

“You love him?” 

 

“With all my heart, Mr. Song. I will protect your little munchkin.” 

 

“And Dongie?” 

 

Hanbin’s gaze dropped as he began to fiddle with his hands. Perhaps he could bend the truth and get advice from Donghyuk’s father, because after all, he knew the child best. 

 

“He doesn’t seem to like me. And I understand where he’s coming from, since his mother passed away only a year ago. But I’ll gain his trust soon. I love Dongie just as much as Chanwoo and I have no intention of becoming his ‘mother.’ I know I am only his nanny. I promise to work it out with him, Mr. Song.” His voice was now quiet and hesitant, maybe he really didn’t believe in his words that much, but Yunhyeong certainly believed in him. 

 

Yunhyeong’s heart urged him to believe in Hanbin. 

 

“Don’t stress about this. I know you will, Hanbin.” Yunhyeong rested a hand over Hanbin’s connected ones and smiled small. “Call me Yunhyeong-hyung. No more ‘sir’ or ‘Mr. Song’... it makes me sound old!” 

 

“But Mr. Song, I don’t think that’s a—“ 

 

Yunhyeong didn’t even have to cut him off with his words, his stern gaze told Hanbin that he wouldn’t accept no for an answer. 

 

“—Yunhyeong hyung.” Hanbin sheepishly smiled at his boss and dusted off his work pants after he had pushed himself onto his feet. He then bowed his head and headed towards the exit. 

 

“Goodnight, Hanbin.” Yunhyeong spoke up as Hanbin reached the doorway, and the latter unconsciously reached up to clutch the fancy fabric on his chest. It took him a moment or two to catch his breath before he was able to muster a few words. 

 

“Goodnight, hyung.” Hanbin was startled to find Donghyuk waiting outside his father’s office. There wasn’t a glare from him this time, which was odd, but perhaps they were too distracted with Chanwoo finally speaking again. 

 

“Hanbin?” Yunhyeong called out and Hanbin exchanged a look with Donghyuk, before he turned to face his boss again. 

 

“Just wanted to see your face again.” 

 

And that alone had Hanbin turning into a flustered mess again. It was so embarrassing, especially with Donghyuk right behind him. 

 

“Okay, hyung.” He didn’t know what else to say, and instead fled the office and went to find safety inside the kitchen. 

 

“Dad! I haven’t seen you smile like that in ages!” 

 

“Yeah, we have a new light in this home.” 

 

“You mean Chanwoo?” 

 

“Yes, along with another person.” 

 

Donghyuk slightly felt betrayed by his father, but it really had been so long since he had last smiled. As much as he despised Hanbin, he was willing to work it out with him for his family’s sake. 

 

“I’ll be nicer to Hanbin hyung.” In a matter of seconds, Donghyuk was out of his father’s office and heading up the stairs. He had to talk to Hanbin and sort this out. He was about to knock on Hanbin’s door when he heard muffled crying from the other side. 

 

“Pssst!” Jinhwan silently called out from across the hallway and motioned for him to come to his side. Donghyuk waddled over, fearing he was in trouble, and listened to what his hyung had to say. “Leave him alone. He is feeling bad about the whole situation, Dongie.”

 

“I was going to apologize. Why is he hurting?” Donghyuk stared down at his shoes. 

 

“Another time. He is hurting. Go to your room.” Jinhwan squeezed the younger’s shoulder and walked past him to reach his room. But Donghyuk was left wondering what had hurt Hanbin so bad that he was hiding in his room in tears? Had he hurt his feelings that bad? 

 

Suddenly, Hanbin opened the door to his bedroom and rushed out. Donghyuk quickly fell back against the nearest wall, but Hanbin was too preoccupied with his own worries to notice him. 

 

Donghyuk felt terrible seeing him like this, but he would have to wait until tomorrow to fix everything with him. 

 

When Hanbin reached the kitchen, he was surprised to find Yunhyeong sitting at the dinner table enjoying a cup of tea. He almost turned the other way to flee the scene, because he didn’t want his boss seeing his shoulder tattoo, but Yunhyeong had already noticed his presence. 

 

“Hanbin-ah, come join me.” His voice alone was already melting Hanbin’s insides. 

 

Hanbin reluctantly sat across from him, palms covering his right shoulder from view. He wanted the earth to swallow him whole. Yunhyeong silently stared at the younger man’s inked shoulder, or what he could see from behind Hanbin’s palms. 

 

“I promise not to show the children. It was a mistake to get these tattoos done, I was very young and foolish...” Hanbin swallowed a lump in his throat and kept his gaze on Yunhyeong, though it was very hard staring into those dreamy eyes of him. 

 

“Lower your hand and move your shirt a few inches, Hanbin. I want to see your tattoo.” And Hanbin hesitantly obliged... who could say no to him? Yunhyeong lowered his gaze onto his naked shoulder and unconsciously licked his lips. Hanbin wanted to scream. 

 

“Nihilism? You aren’t religious?” Yunhyeong furrowed his brows, that was, before he met Hanbin’s eyes again and really stared into them. His attention was now elsewhere. “You were crying...” 

 

Hanbin quickly lowered his gaze and fixed his tank top back into place. This was so humiliating. “It’s fine, hyung. I’m fine now.” 

 

“You didn’t feel forced to come back here, right? I was going to visit you in your room, but Jinhwan hyung spoke up against it. Why, Hanbin-ah? Tell me what is troubling you... you said you would open up to me more.” 

 

By that point, Hanbin’s eyes were filled with tears again and his bottom lip was trembling between his teeth. He didn’t want to cry in front of Yunhyeong, but the sadness was too much for him to handle on his own. 

 

“Bobby hyung...” He patted a hand to his chest, over and over again in an attempt to calm himself down, but he couldn’t stop the tears from running down his cheeks. 

 

And that was enough for Yunhyeong to understand the situation, or at least come up with possible theories. 

 

Yunhyeong quickly settled into the seat beside Hanbin and rested a hand onto his inked shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it. But please let me know, did your partner harm you in any way?” 

 

Hanbin looked up to meet Yunhyeong’s gaze and frowned. Yunhyeong hesitantly took the younger man’s face in his hands and wiped the tears from his cheeks. 

 

“I hurt him. I broke up with Bobby hyung...” Hanbin then rested his chin on Yunhyeong’s shoulder and hugged him tightly. Under different circumstances, he would’ve never been willing to be so close to Yunhyeong, but he needed someone to hold him, reassure him that everything would turn out just fine... and Yunhyeong was willing to do so. 

 

Yunhyeong would much rather be peppering kisses onto Hanbin’s face, he would much rather be resting beside him in the comfort of his own bed, reassuring him that he would never feel heartbreak again if he would just give him his heart, but he couldn’t jump into this so quickly. He wouldn’t. What would his late wife think of him? It had only been a year since she had passed away, but Yunhyeong felt terrible for feeling this way about another person... and he felt even more confused about the situation because this person was a man and not a woman. 

 

“I thought he was the love of my life, hyung. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.” Hanbin quietly admitted and wiggled himself out of Yunhyeong’s embrace. 

 

“Come here, Hanbin-ah. I won’t leave your side.” The older man motioned for him to return to his embrace, but Hanbin shook his head. He had done enough crying for the night. 

 

“I won’t cry over a man who was not willing to give his all to me...” Hanbin lowered his gaze and wiped the wetness from under his nose. He felt ridiculous, but the crying was necessary if he wanted to ease some of his pain. He met Yunhyeong's gaze once more and forced a tiny grin. “Oh, I’m so embarrassed...” 

 

“Don’t be. Losing a partner is not easy. I completely understand you.” Yunhyeong moved his hands over Hanbin’s and gazed into the younger man’s tired, beautiful eyes. Even in the state that he was in, Hanbin was so beautiful. He didn’t think he would ever grow tired of looking at him. 

 

“I thought my wife was the love of my life, that we would be together for the rest of our lives... but the world is cruel, Hanbin-ah. Don’t let this bring you down.” 

 

Right when Hanbin thought Yunhyeong couldn’t be even more perfect, he managed to outdo himself. Hanbin didn’t ever want to stop staring at Yunhyeong’s handsome face. He didn’t want this moment to ever end, but it was time for him to isolate himself. He needed to be alone and Yunhyeong sensed that by helping him to his feet.

 

“Have a good night, Hanbin-ah.” Even as they were standing, Yunhyeong kept his hands around Hanbin’s. His heart fluttered at the way the younger man stared at him. He was so handsome up close, he could just kiss him... but he wouldn’t take advantage of him while he was so vulnerable.

 

“Goodnight, Yunhyeongie hyung. Thank you.” Hanbin sheepishly smiled and wiggled his hands away from the other’s gentle grip. He felt like a complete idiot falling for a man he believed was heterosexual, but he had hope he would get over Yunhyeong too. 

 

Even so, why did it feel like Yunhyeong was capable of reciprocating the feelings he had for him? That didn’t matter for now. Jiwon would be the only person on his mind for the rest of the night. But as he slept, he would dream of Yunhyeong... his handsome face, dreamy eyes, and gentle personality. Everything he would never be able to have.  

 

  
  
  



End file.
